


Not Done Looking

by visionofblue (merelyafigment)



Series: Shameless [2]
Category: Oz (TV)
Genre: Drugged Sex, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Recreational Drug Use, Voyeurism, old fic I barely remember writing, who needs characterization when you have sex and drugs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-05-18
Updated: 2004-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 08:15:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26968861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merelyafigment/pseuds/visionofblue
Summary: Nighttime in Emcity. Miguel being manhandled keeps Ryan up. (Horrible pun intended) PWP that follows"Just Say Yes"
Relationships: Miguel Alvarez/Alonzo Torquemada, Miguel Alvarez/Ryan O'Reily
Series: Shameless [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1968001
Kudos: 3





	Not Done Looking

**Author's Note:**

> Archiving Note: yep, still sitting in 2020 archiving very old things and backdating them to avoid flooding the Oz section on AO3 with my ancient stuff. This backdate is a total guess. It's not correct, but the year is probably right? Originally posted on mailing lists and Oz archives.
> 
> Warning: It's Oz, so always expect possible terrible language, terrible slurs, terrible attitudes and views about many things. Especially here, with Ryan's terrible (jealous) thoughts about Torquemada. Also, copious amounts of drug use.
> 
> Author's Note: More completely unnecessary unbetaed smut, not meant to be taken seriously, or be believable. Apparently my bunnies got into the D-tabs and are too busy humping to give me things like plots or good characterization.

When Miguel and Ryan had parted, they had still been flying. Walking close, touching shoulder to shoulder, brushing everywhere. Unable to break contact until it had been absolutely necessary, only going their separate ways when they had to return to the scrutiny of other eyes.

Ryan's buzz slowly faded as he joined the crowd watching Miss Sally bounce and jiggle. Riding out the drug mindlessly sprawled in front of the TV, he tried not to focus on what had happened, what it had meant. It wasn't until lockdown that his brain cleared up enough to think.

Ryan had glanced at Miguel every once in a while. Noticing that Alvarez kept his distance the rest of the day. Not ignoring Ryan, but not engaging with him either. Doing nothing that raised suspicions, offered a clue as to what had happened, or what was going on in his head. Torquemada had been in his usual place, trailing along behind, always watching with that look of possessive worship. Alvarez never seemed to pay his permanent shadow any attention. Not that Torquemada ever took offense, that too was business as usual. He just stayed constantly flitting around Alvarez, in his face despite being given no encouragement. Torquemada getting Miguel to talk only briefly, Alvarez never returning the admiring gaze or the touches. But both men knew, hell all of Emcity knew thanks to those damn glass walls, that as soon as the lights went out Miguel would finally take notice and Torquemada would finally get what he craved.

Now Ryan was locked down, alone. Waiting for lights out himself. His tangling with D-tabs and Alvarez playing on a loop in his head. However fucking wrong he knew it was, it brought only yearning, and feelings of relief. It had been a moment of escape from all the shit, the empty, trapped feeling that had set up permanent residence inside of him lately. He was unsettled that he'd found this spark of happiness fucking with another guy. Something he'd avoided all this time...hoping to get out, being there for Cyril, staying on top of things, keeping up an image. But everything was stripped away now. If he could give in, find one moment when he felt good again at last, he had to consider it. 

There was nothing left to lose.

The lights finally went out and Ryan took up his usual position in front of the glass. He noticed that since the move back after the mysterious white powder incident, Alvarez was in a pod he had a perfect view of. There Alvarez stood, arms over his head, propped against the glass in a graceful, slouching lean, impassively observing. Wearing nothing but the stark white standard issue boxers.

Ryan looked out over Emcity, a ritual before sleep. Watching, cataloguing the goings on. Tracking the movement in the pods and the eyefucking passing across the cell block between allies and enemies. Tangible energy spreading out before him in a web of hate, lust, and uneasy alliances. And he mapped it all.

But this time he stayed up past the time all of the players left view, giving in to sleep and other pursuits, retreating into the darkness. Staying up later than even he ever did, watching...waiting. Finally drawn back to the pod his eyes had been sliding past all night.

Miguel still stood, the only one left. Locking eyes now in silent contemplation, Ryan felt the tug of earlier. And whatever was going on in his head, doubts, fear, regret, everything just...stopped. Nothing now but looking, taking Miguel in.

Gaze lingering over Miguel. Eyes drawn to what he'd never noticed before, seeing Miguel's body in a completely different way. Now he'd seen that body sheened in sweat, sharing space with his own, felt it moving against him, under his hands. Everything had changed. Ryan's attention lingered on fluid muscles and smooth skin, body built compact and tight. Ryan found himself turned on by just the sight, like one of the girls in his endless magazines. More, because this he'd had, could have again. Even now, when he was no longer held under the spell of the drugs, the memory was there, the pull to get lost in the fog again.

Finally Torquemada's unwelcome presence came out of the shadows hovering behind Miguel. Ryan tensed, feeling uneasy anticipation. Waiting for the show to start. The regular dance of Alvarez and Torquemada. Waiting to see what would happen. Ryan wondered if Miguel was waiting to see if Ryan was watching.

Miguel broke eye contact and Ryan got the distinct feeling that Miguel didn't want Torquemada to notice that he had been watching Ryan. Torquemada's hands gliding over Miguel's shoulders, leaning in to fucking sniff at him...kinky fucking freak. Something passing from hand to hand, popped into Miguel's mouth, eyes closing with the swallow.

The guards weren't paying attention, they never did when it came to those two. Ryan wondered how much it cost Torquemada just to keep Miguel near. Maintaining privacy and Miguel's drug habit, securing attention that Ryan had gotten for free and out of the blue. The thought stuck in Ryan's head -- Miguel had come to _him_ , willingly, without being pursued.

Torquemada ran a hand down Miguel's chest, delicate and slow, like Miguel was some precious possession that he had to be careful with. Miguel turned to lean against the side wall of his pod, leaving Ryan with a side view of him as he avoided looking at Ryan. But he did stay up front, not retreating into the dark. Miguel wasn't looking at Torquemada either, keeping his eyes closed now. Even though they were too far away to tell for sure, Ryan thought Miguel looked detached...tired. Not the way he was earlier with Ryan. He had seemed to come alive then.

Torquemada slid to his knees in front of Miguel, pressing his face to Miguel's stomach like he was breathing Miguel in, savoring him. Pulled Miguel's cock out of his boxers, mouth immediately taking him in. Ryan watched as Miguel shuddered, parting his lips in a gasp.

Ryan focused on the act, pulse speeding up. Sight of Miguel bringing back all the feelings of earlier, making Ryan instantly hard, blood flowing fast. Ryan was mesmerized by light and shadow dancing over Miguel's skin, the play of his muscles as he rocked into Torquemada's mouth.

Ryan kept his hands flat on the glass, hoping the cool, smooth surface would ground him, calm the heat thrumming through him. It was fucking useless, it would take an ice cube down his boxers to mute the heat from just the memory of Miguel alone. The scene playing out before him fueled the fire, keeping the images of earlier firmly in his mind, the memory ghosting across his skin. Hand being drawn towards his cock like a magnet... he needed relief, needed touch. Thankfully, he still had barely enough blood flowing to his brain to stop him. No fucking way was he jerking off pressed to the glass in full view.

He vaulted up to his bed, flopping down on his stomach, propped up on his arms slightly. Head at the end of his bed so he was able to see as much as possible, while keeping everyone else seeing as little as possible of him in the darkness. His eyes never left the scene before him.

Miguel's head was tilted back, detached pleasure written on his face. It wasn't quite the same as the peaceful bliss on his face when he had been with Ryan, wasn't nearly as good, and that made something dark twist in Ryan's stomach. But even that wasn't enough to dampen his need as Ryan's brain supplied the soundtrack, breathy grunts and muttered words of earlier washing over him. Just the sight of Miguel getting off was hot, even if it was with that fucking unworthy drag queen that Miguel had no connection with. Ryan couldn't keep himself from thrusting lightly against the mattress. Holding back, not nearly enough pressure to bring relief, just a tease. Kept himself from falling into a rhythm, tingles of not quite enough spreading through his body. He wasn't going to get off this way. Didn't want to, not yet. Drawing it out as long as possible as Ryan watched Torquemada's head bob up and down, focused on Miguel's hand digging into the shocking white hair.

Ryan shifted up on his legs just enough to slide his hand under him. Hand finally slipping into his boxers, harsh groan of relief as he finally gave in. It wasn't the touch he wanted but it was enough for now. And if it wasn't the most easy, comfortable fucking position at least it was a spectacular view. Couldn't tear his eyes away, couldn't stop his hand from moving.

Miguel's back arched slightly now as he got close. Miguel thrusting hard and deep now, fucking Torquemada's mouth while the guy just took it. Ryan barely paid Torquemada any attention, all he could see was Miguel. The Miguel in the pod across the way and the one in Ryan's head. Memories of them together in the infirmary earlier mixing with the scene in front of him. Ryan's breath stopping as the Miguel of here and now came. Ryan could see it, the very moment. Miguel's whole body going still. Swore he could see Miguel's body tense then release even from here.

Miguel's completion reached, Ryan finally closed his eyes. Head bent down now, forehead almost brushing against the thin mattress. Breath muffled, reflected back at him in hot quick gusts, almost like he wasn't alone, imagining the breath was Miguel's. Scene playing over and over again in his brain, bleeding into memories of earlier. He was already on the brink, wet sounds of the slide of hand on cock standing out starkly in the quiet pod. Ryan gave himself over, stroking faster, rougher, as he tried to recapture the rhythm Miguel had used. Trying to make it like Miguel's touch, but it wasn't the same.

Fevered imagination flipping the images dancing behind his lids, changing them. Picturing Miguel on his knees...in front of Ryan. Looking up at him, raw and wanting, eyes alive and drawing him in. Ryan let out a choked moan as the image went straight to his cock and he came, sudden and desperate. Ryan collapsed back down flat, trying to catch his breath as he rolled onto his back. Rush slowly calming, leaving him worn out and still alone.

***

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Ahavia for the help.
> 
> Lyrics that are to blame for me writing this (when in doubt blame the inspiration):
> 
> "we negotiate with chaos  
> for some sense of satisfaction  
> if you won't give it to me  
> at least give me a better view  
> come here  
> stand in front of the light  
> stand still  
> so I can see your silhouette  
> I hope  
> you have got all night  
> 'cause I'm not done looking" -ani difranco


End file.
